How’s that for an original title, eh?
So, one of the few friends I have online who is not afraid to stand up to me and call me on my bullshit (spiritually speaking) recently called into question my devotion to my Gods due to the fact that my view of Them has become symbolic, rather than literal.
I had begun seeing Them as representative of ideals, as goals for my spiritual development, rather than dynamic, living beings who are able to affect my daily life. They weren’t worthy of devotion in and of Themselves, but had devolved, in my mind, into mere focal points for use in my personal plans.
What I discovered, as part of this evolution/devolution, was that life seemed a bit empty without a deeper meaning behind what I casually referred to as “my Gods”. They suddenly became two-dimensional, seemingly drawings, rather than the three dimensional transcendent sparks of creativity, imagination, and morality that I wanted and needed Them to be.
As a result of this “evolved” view, my very personality began to suffer. The fire which once defined who I was somehow died to smoldering embers. Even my speech patterns began to change. My will was broken by my own intellect. What I thought was an epiphany turned out to be an extinguishing of a vital part of my humanity.
I realize now that I have a need to believe in my Gods as living entities rather than usable quaint relics of the past. No, I still don’t believe that They shape my destiny…but They are the pillars that support the road I am travelling…allowing my journey to continue.
Here’s to the rekindling of fires, kicks in the ass by friends, and finding what was once lost.
Hey, Blackbird…thanks for being such a bitch.