Author Archives: Via Hedera

Nantosuelta’s Shrine


The Nantosuelta statue was created by yours truly!  At her feet is an oven, representing her special tie to the home, and her arms cradle a bowl or cauldron which are tied to the magic of healing springs.  Her breasts are chalices, honoring her fertility and protective gifts.  I bless healing and protective sigils at her feet and surround her in oats.  Her shrine often sits at the base of my hazel tree which towers above the river- very auspicious for us Gaelic pagans; it is a healing tree of wisdom and protection of the home.
Oh winding river, Oh sunny valley, Oh raven, hear me…

For Nantosuelta; herbal infused honey, beeswax, figs (healing herbs), feathers, spring water and oats.  She is a guide for healers, a keeper of sacred waters, a bee-hive tender, mistress of the home and protector of the land and garden, may she receive these blessings and know I’m listening.

Oh My Various Gods

Many of us worship or devote to or work with gods, spirits, divine entities- all sorts of energies.  For some monotheists that I know, the idea of all these names and concepts is threatening and downright ridiculous- but I like to think of it in terms of nature: variation and plenty are the very basis of life.  While this may be one planet, there is so much diversity, so many different energies that I find it hard to NOT stop and notice and appreciate the individuality that exists therein.  

Every aspect of my life is interconnected with the lives of those around me, the life that exists in nature and the inevitable cycle of endings and rebirth that we are all of us bound to.   It’s not a conscious effort on my part, it’s as natural to be as breathing and completely justified in my own mind.  I don’t think I’m right, I don’t believe in any one right answer- but I only get ONE life (in this form at least) and I should live it the way best befitting my own happiness.

We all express our faith differently.  For example, I have my central deities: which include The Morrighan (whom I work as priestess for in my trad), Brighid the Healer, Aligena Pandemos and Cernnunos and  my central pantheon which include Belenus, Rosmerta, Airmid, Nodons, Lugh, the Daghda, Belisama, Nemetona, Flidais, Cailleach, Nantosuelta and spider woman to name a few.  Some are household deities who are worshiped as spirits of my kitchen, home and land (Airmid, Rosmerta, Nantosuelta), some are seasonal deities usually honored during the festivals of the equinoxes and solstices (Corn Mother, Bee Queen, Elk Woman, Lord of the Wild Hunt), some are cultural spirits I was raised with as an urban skin (meaning non-rez Native) like salmon, spider woman, raven. 

They aren’t just names, they are ideas, concepts, representatives of nature and certain functions of this planet that are honored and celebrated because of their personal importance in my life- not because I liked their pretty names lol.  Being Native has had a lot to do with what I believe in, strange as it seems.  I spent my childhood completely immersed in being a mixed-raced skin- living with my Indian family, eating our food, attending our schools, going through our rites of passage (canoe journey)- you’d think I would have wound up just walking the red road like most of that side of my family… but I am what I am and I can’t help it… and don’t want to lol. 

We are who we are, and I don’t believe the gods discriminate.  


I think it’s easier for me than some to have so many personal relationships with deities because my life isn’t so very distracted.  Some people have a relationship with their gods that occurs only on special occasions, and that’s perfectly fine.  Not everyone seeks out strong personal relationships but still carry the faith, and that works for them.   I dedicate so deeply to what I do because it’s the path that my life took, and I find no fault in that.  If what you believe in brings you joy and violates no other person, than what could be wrong with that?  


Some pagans are “laypagans”, some are devoted, some are clergy- all of us have faith of varying degrees and that’s all good (though admittedly I have a more critical stance towards witchcraft, not paganism).  For the pagans who are also witches (like myself), the faith coincides with the practice and becomes something strong and special.  But of course, not every pagan is a witch, or a polytheist for that matter- but those of us walking that pagan, polytheistic path find ourselves drawn to the old gods for every kind of reason; I find it hard to believe in a singular divinity and I believed these great spirits are as much a part of this world as the material world.  Some found their faith in the old gods for other reasons; pure connection, childhood interest, even a lash out against their upbringing.  Whatever way it came about, I’m proud to see the gods resurrect.


I hope one day the polytheist culture begins an upswing into understanding and general acceptance.  I hope we keep the gods alive in our hearts.


What makes you a polytheist and who’s in your pantheon?

Where Did Your Gods Come From?

To keep the ball of inspiration going…

I was reading lovely Nellie’s latest post when I stumbled across an idea I hadn’t thought about sharing until just then- the connections we have to our various gods and how we got them.  She finds herself connecting through the birds- a new idea to me, I suppose that’s because I don’t know much about birds and I never seemed to connect to them, but she got me thinking seriously about paying a little more attention to our avian allies.  

Anywho, I was thinking about how people become connected to their different deities.  Some become connected through reading and research, some get random feelings and go on a hunt, some just feel the presence and choose to give it no name or give it a personal name.  Some people connected to their deities through fantasy books, television, movies- all sorts of places.  Some people were raised polytheists and are carrying on family worship.  

Me?  I am one of those people who feels something and chooses to give it no name until I’ve come across the name or divine it on my own and in my own time.  Some spirits or entities are still nameless for me, and I’m not on a steady hunt- for all I know these Old beings have no name that can be read in a book or found on the net, and it works for me to just refer to them by what they feel like.  

Not every entity is some recycled standard, some are simply… what they are. The Old gods, the ones that were the first to emerge from the existence of this world, the ones who were older than life as we know it and were there in the before time, before religion or man or land animal who may be the great progenitors of primordial existence and thus our ancestors- I believe they’re still around.  

I am not the type of pagan who believes that gods exist regardless of us- I think the divine energies and “gods” are what they are today because of beliefe and prayer and memory.  What they represent; their energies and values and spirits may have almost always existed- love, death, war, poverty, joy, kindness- these feelings are old energies and when you believe in an energy strong enough and long enough, they take on their own power and are sustained by those beliefs.

It’s complicated to explain exactly how I believe what I believe but I think the gist of it is that I don’t believe that everything that exists simply dreamed itself into being.  I believe that belief itself is what gave way to the gods of man, and that the gods or entities that existed before us (which was a good 4.5 billion years of Earth’s existence) probably were the older forms of the “God’s of Man”.  Some gods we worship were probably human ancestors who became legend and became divinity, some were spirits of nature so powerful and universal that they extend to every culture, and some are animal gods- and since our species owes everything to other animals, I’m not surprised we’d turn them into deities.  Whatever the beginning, I have a very deep faith that the primordial gods, the ones who are as old as the first life of the primordial seas are probably the first of this planet and the progenitors of all that followed in some way and that even though they’ve all but faded away from human belief and knowledge, they are far too old and too powerful and too connected to everything to need be sustained by human belief or prayer. 

How many gods existed since the dawn of human spirituality are forgotten and nameless and lost to all human knowledge?  And what becomes of them?  Do they loose all influence in this world or are they worshiped in new incarnations? Who really knows, everyone feels differently about this.  In Dilis Glas, we have the concept of the Oneness, the Opposites and the Many: the Universal Unconsciousness which is the existence of all that is, has been and will be, the opposing forces whose friction makes and unmakes material and energy (some call this feminine and masculine because of the passive/active relationship), and the many- which are the lifeforms, spirits, energies, entities, whatever that coexist in the universe and fill it with all the invisible and visible life.  

The Oneness is NOT god.  It is not a god, it is not concious, does not care or feel because it is everything- life and death and all inbetween- not a god.  It feels no compassion or anything at all, it simply is existance and nonexistance as it truly is, not as we understand it- it is everything.  The opposites are energy and matter, they are the complex relationship that creates and destroys, often symbolized by the phallus and the womb- the active energy and the passive energy that ALL life as we understand it is based on.  And the many- well, it is the energy that exists from those actions- the spirits who were here at the beginning of our universe 14 billion years ago who were never human and are unaware of time as we know it, our planet’s creatures, the creatures of all the universe, the gods- all that is a product.  In simple terms: everything is connected, there is no separation between us and anything else, and there is no single right path in this universe. 

Getting back to the point:  How we discover these beings, which some of us call gods (though admittedly, that word means something different to all of us) or how they discover us varies from person to person.  I don’t disbelieve in any god, but I don’t worship them all.  It just so happens that the deities I’ve become most connected to or called to were Gaelic/Brythonic/Gallic in origin and I can’t really answer to why exactly.  Maybe those spirits/energies just speak to me, maybe what they represent by those names makes sense to me, or maybe they just like me a lot lol.  The truth is I don’t know and I find it hard to believe anyone really knows the WHY when they’re sincere in their faith.  I try not to obsess over the Why and focus more on the moment and how I feel.

I liked reading about her connection to the gods through the birds, because I too connect through nature- being that I worship nature and gods who were probably originally nature spirits.  I find myself most connecting through the weather, through the changes of the seasons and the change of nature based on the weather. I speak my most powerful prayers on the wind, light my charms by the sun, bless my tools by the tide or the torrential rain.  I’m a weathery kind of witch- it’s the change of it all that makes me feel most connected to the divine by all their many names.  

How did you find your divine connections, how did they find you and where did it come from?

Household, Home and Rosmerta

coins for the river, fruit for the Abundant One



I have many kitchen spirits following and wandering about and many deities connected to my kitchen and work therein.  Usually, I dedicate tea-crafting and baking to Brighid, the making of herbal healing remedies to Airmid and things that involve abundance, liquor/spirits and fertility to Rosmerta.  



These change depending on everything; the time of day, the season, my mood, the sunlight- today, I was called (quite loudly) to answer to Rosmerta.  Her altar moves around the house- all of my altars do.  Not just because I am in the transistion of moving, but because no one place ever feels permanently right to me.  


I follow daylight and the wind, I follow the call of crows in the evening as they fly from pear tree to pear tree out back, or the gentle chirp of robins beneath the guelder rose.  Sometimes my altars are out on the stumps of long dead trees, or on the boughs of nursing logs in the forest, or even on the moll-hill mounds in the patches of herb Robert and creeping buttercup by the garden gate.  In the kitchen, the altar is wherever the clearest space is!  What isn’t cluttered with antique teacups and saucers, or potato bags and apples, or even the coffee maker and magic bullet, becomes a space for the altar.



Rosmerta’s repaired statue stands anywhere she likes.  Sometimes on the secret cabinet compartments above the sink or on the counter-top where I bake my tea cookies and grind my herbs.  Recently, I’ve been going through a transformation of the self and the home- Andrew graduated from his program, my sister came back for a visit which gives me a world of inner peace, state budget cuts put me and my department on the chopping block and I’m being tormented by the strangest paranoia.  It doesn’t seem like the end of the world, and I don’t think it is… it’s all just an awful lot of change, and anyone who knows me personally knows that I possess a visceral and almost violent fear of sudden change heh…


Setting up and dismantling altars is one of my forms of meditation.  Not only do I get the outlet to exercise my aesthetic, my desires and feelings but I get to connect and watch the energy of creation build and be destroyed all of the time.  Sometimes I do it without thinking; with no intention, reason or desire- I just start throwing things together until it feels right, and I’ll find something beautiful, peaceful, and powerful standing before me.


In these times when the whole world is being loaded with stress and everyone feels so alone, misunderstood and disconnected I think it’s important that people find something to believe in that is good, find something that gives them a sense of belonging and worth.  Even if I feel surrounded by disingenuous asses, arrogant she-devils and all manner of cold and self important individuals, I remember that everyone is as misunderstood and unknown as I feel most of the time.  


It’s okay to feel misunderstood because you’re probably being misunderstood by one person or another, especially by those more ego-driven than you think you are personally.  The people you call important are probably as flawed as you, and those who find the time to put you down or resent you do not have the monopoly on whatever it is that makes them feel so important.  


We all have the same problems with different manifestations, so I think it’s vital we find our own peace in the world and acknowledge the abundance we really have.

Of Gourds and Liquor



I finally got around to sanding and carving my damned gourds.  I have a ton of small ones and two large ones (if anyone wants some damned minigourds let me know (you tell me where to send them and pay for shipping lol cause my ass is broke), I have more than I need or will use for my rattles and vessels).  The bowl will look great after it has its stain painted on and when the rabbit pelt is cured, it will be the lining for the inside! 




Found a bottle of old crow.  I have no clue how old the whiskey was, but his grandparents said they bought it a few decades ago lol.  Tasted fine to me so I tipped it back in a few gulps and decided to keep the bottle, it’s just so damned cool.

Rosmerta’s Altar

This isn’t Rosmerta’s statue, hers is being repaired after having fallen during the move, but this statue stands in for any divine feminine when I need to!

Rosmerta, for those who aren’t Celtic or Gallic/Brythonic pagans is a special lady.  She is the abundant one, an entity tied to the cycles of fertility, harvest and merry making.  My discovery and connection to her came at random and sort of upset my strangely intense tie to the Gaelic gods, but she fits right in lol.

There simply aren’t enough salmon berries in the world.  I don’t care for the taste much but i LOVE the colors

On this wonderful waxing day (like I give a damn about the moon, it just sounded nice to say lol), I set out an altar in her honor- mainly because Andrew is working on the new devotional I designed (well, not new, some of you remember me talking about this months ago).  She’s already looking beautiful, and we were just looking to make offerings for inspiration.  Hope she likes it  cause I sure the hell do.  I’ll post the early sketch soon but it’s going to be loaded with symbolism, just like the Morrighan’s devotional, but the style will be slightly different.  Food, wine, liquor, meat, mead, fire, flowers and wealth- abundance all around.



Just because her name is Rosmerta doesn’t mean she’s associated with roses, the roses are there because she’s a being tied to the values of fertility and desire- so rose it is.  Liquor and food complete the offering to this joyous spirit!  A lot of cultures believe in leaving alcoholic beverages as offerings to spirits and gods; this probably arose because it alters the mind and releases one from their sense of self in many ways.  It isn’t always a recreational drug, sometimes it’s just a gift to be shared safely.  I left Rosmerta apricot liqueur among the potato, nectarine, cherries, bell peppers and unripe pears.  My favorite comfort foods for my comfort spirit.




Bronzed flowers on the vine
harvest soaking in the brine
Rosmerta of mead and heather wine
Abundance feast upon the shrine
Great Provider, oh divine


–Little Rhyme for Rosmerta, by Angelina Nelson-J

Frenzy Wines and Balms and Cottonwood

I finally finished my last bottle of frenzy wine-which had been steeping with some delightful herbs (including blue lotus) for over two years.   We set about making the wine after our last trip North and I had been using it as sacrament and spoil in rituals over the last year- finally drinking the last drop last night.  Witches of all kinds from all over the world make concoctions that include entheogenic herbs and substances, to aid in reaching that higher plateau of awareness and inner energy that comes with the abandonment of the ego of the material.  


Some tribes in South America utilized plants like ayahuasca or cacti, some North American and Central American tribes utilized peyote.  Old English folk tales speak of flying ointments (herbs steeped in fats and applied to the body).  In Asian cultures, poppies were utilized, or the secretions of certain poison animals and it’s believed the extinct soma plant of India may have been marijuana.  Every culture had their own ways of reaching that level of frenzy needed to enter the ecstatic world and become one with their Divine.  As a practitioner of European style witchcraft, I’ve always favored flying ointments (and boy have some of them been unsuccessful), and as a modern American slacker, I’ve had my share of experiences with Plant Medicine (and not always respectfully in my younger years), and I, like many witches, have my preferred favorites.  

Some witches prefer smoke, some prefer whole plant ingestion (the most dangerous type), some prefer steeped herbs diluted in fats, oils or water (many of the most accessible and commonly used entheogens are fat soluble)- there are many mindsets and ways of thinking when it comes to herbalism in the mind-altering sense.  I’m in love with the many mentalities that exist in each culture concerning their Sacred Plants- and always have been.  Flying ointments and oils are a special interest of mine, and probably because of my studies in European folk magic, but for my own reasons, I tend to lean towards frenzy wines and smokes.


I began researching frenzy or “maenad” wines about five years ago in college when I took my second anthropology course and met two other women walking alternative spiritual roads and we worked on a project about drugs in ritual.  Rachel, who was studying shamanism at the time gave me some of my first tips and courses on making frenzy wine from already prepared wine (I was too young to get the tools or space necessary to make my own wine).  Her experience was with mushrooms (amanita) in frenzy wine… But, because of certain allergies and age restrictions, I waited a few years before attempting them myself.  It’s not an every ritual kind of thing, which is why it took so long to get through the two small bottles I made, but worth it every time, especially when that frenzy sets in.   

Some witches describe it as flying, but I’ve never felt any sensation like flight, only a madness,a  frenzy that sweeps over the self as I dance around the fire to the beat of drums, the howl of flutes and (sometimes) the sound of my uncontrollable laughter lol.  Ecstatic dancing is a way to bring yourself into that otherworldly connection without the use of substances, and is my preferred crossing method.  Hey, to each, their own.


I have half a jar left of last years frenzy balm- a mild, unnamed cream.  Definitely going to have to whip out the recipe in October when the herbs it contains are in full wild bloom.  I’ll make a new batch of maenad spirits around then too.  I may not be much on oil crafting or incense, but I know liquor and wine outside and in, being the little lush I can be lol.

In other matters….


I collected cottonwood fluff from my yard- the trees are exploding these little poofs everywhere, yards and streets and gutters are smothered in them, like snow.  My allergies have been going nuts because of it.  It will make good stuffing for all sorts of things… like poppets for my new wreath.  Even have a few porcupine quills left to contribute.

A Box With Memories Inside

 So, I went through my box of charms, trinkets and memories and found this old pendulum I repaired a few years ago.  I don’t really care for the crystal, so I’ve resolved to give it a makeover and give it to my friend.  She’s… sort of in a funk and could use some good energy.   Going through the box gave me crazy flashbacks. Each charm or stone or rune has some special meaning, some special history tied to it that decorates and dots each piece with my own energy and dreams.

 I’ve collected these since… well before I was born really, my mother gave me a lot of the beads; some were my great grandma’s, some are from other countries.  Andrew gave me the seashells- urchin spines we use in protection charms and amulets.  Last year he made a protection amulet for our bedroom made from the spines, reed flutes and alder-dyed black sinew.  The large spiral was a gift from Trisha- a symbol we both adore because of it’s tie to the labyrinth and labyrinth magic (a central part of the Dilis Glas tradition).  The stones were found, gifted or dug from the mountain side by me and my grandpa.  

 Chains, necklaces and runes-gifts from friends and family.  The runes came from my days as a professional reader, and were a gift from one of my coworkers who taught me much of what I know about Northern Tradition magic, European myth and bone energy.  She gave me that metal rune when I was going through a difficult loss (pregnancy). The black algiz stone I made with a paint crafted from gator bone and ash- for protection- I couldn’t let go of it.


The angel was found in 1996 on the playground of my elementary school- I saw it and knew it was mine, left for me.  I put it on my very first altar lol, as my image of the Divine Feminine… even though her wings broke off I could never let go of her.  The jackal is from an African jewelry set my mom gave to me, I hate jackals lol.  The ankh was a symbol I used a lot before entering the Celtic pagan path.  I bought it my freshman year of high-school at Joanne’s.  The… thing on the far right was given to me by my grandma when we went on one of our many trips to the Islands for antiquing (my obsession).  It used to be a beautiful necklace but the years were unkind to it and that’s all that’s left.  I don’t know what I’ll be adding to the pendulum chain… but it will be something special and full of memories.

And just for kicks, here’s my partner, Andrew a.k.a “The Mexicutioner”- preparing for his show tonight at the Gypsy.  His band is awesome (he’s the singer)- they consist of Austrian twins and a super cool bassist.  The name changes every week, this week they are Probable Flaws lol.  AHHH memories.

Terrarium

So, for the last few years I’ve had this incredible fascination with terrariums, probably because I’ve kept frogs most of my life (aquatic) and wanted to try my hand at growing and maintaining an eco system for them.  Since all the frogs we (my family and I) have owned have been fully aquatic, I never got the chance, now that I have the time, the energy and have done the research, I’m ready to start building!   


I’m a hobbyist- I have a ton of hobbies and interests and they take up most of my downtime, and I began researching jar terrariums a few years ago after I had seen a build-it-yourself kit at a the Hobby Shop in the south-end.  No frogs in there, but it’s a good start for people interested in maintaining live ecosystems or stationary/show systems in their own home.  I’m aiming to work my way up to a live terrarium with frogs and toads (SUPER CUTE).  My family frog George is still around (my sister bought him when she was like 16 and he’s still kickin’ ten years later) and has his own big-ass tank to hang out in, in mom’s kitchen.  I’ve been watching him all these years, bonding to him, and because of him I took a real interest in keeping amphibians (I was too young to remember our first family frogs) so I’m excited to get a large tank from Barrier and start making a temperate forest terrarium.  


Having a partner who studied marine biology, worked at aquariums and pet stores and keeps his own aquarium really helps; he knows what I’ll need to do to keep life going in a closed space.  I’m so used to keeping rabbits, rats, snakes, hamsters and aquatic frogs, this should be a fun new experience.

From Here



I’m really inspired by the art of Takashi Amano who builds amazing aquariums and other eco systems using Japanese aesthetic. 


Wish me luck!

Wordy Wednesday: A Praise Chorus

I’ve noticed a lot of blogs have a Wordless Wednesday section, but I wanted to do a word-filled Wednesday.  Today is a day of thanks.  I think I got put in the mood at my job where today is worker appreciation day lol.  I decided to take a minute to say thank you to the vast many people who are responsible for shaping who I am today.

To my sister Kendra…

You never minded that I was witch even though you were Lutheran and now Catholic.  You were one of the few supporters I had in the family when I stepped away from medicine to pursue a path more meaningful to me at age 9.  You never minded giving me chalk so that I could make death-mask powder, or buying me jars for all those failed oil attempts that made my bedroom smell rancid lol!  You defended me against all the bullies when we were in school together- even though I have a hundred pounds on your skinny ass and tower over you like big-foot.  You didn’t mind me playing with roadkill when we were kids, or even helping me buy my very first herb kit from Tenzing- even though you knew I was buying entheogens for unsaid reasons.  When we worked together at Eco, it was one of the happiest times I ever had, because you looked out for me (knowing how shy I am), defended me and helped me make friends with local shamans and pagans who helped me learn more and more.  Even though my incense always smelled like ass and the oils I made stained the carpets (which I blamed on you and Miles) you had my back and made sure that everyone knew how special I was.  You are why I was strong enough to just be ME.

To my best friend Trisha….

I remember all the beltanes we spent together- everything wreathed in flowers and food, and the fires burned bright in the cauldron you bought me from Sacred Traditions when it was still open.  You took me to my first Buddhist meditation classes and walked the Ivy Path with me, even today.  When we became Dílis Glas, I was so happy to have you on the road with me.  Thank you, for all the times we performed burial rites for the dead animals we found.  Thanks for doing most of the handling by the way, I was WAY more squeamish about our dead animal cemetery fetish than you were lol.  Thank you for the long walks through the graveyards where we admired the gravestones, stole soil and ran away from shadows.  You and me are so different, and so similar it’s scary, and that’s why we never parted.  Even though time and change has made it harder to see each other, I’ll never forget living with you and your family, celebrating the dark moon, the full moon and just being nerds together.

To my partner Andrew…

We met when we were 14 years old, and I fell in love with you.  You asked me out nearly three years ago and told me you loved me.  I’ll never forget driving to Canada with you while listening to Abby Road and Sergeant Peppers the whole way.  Experiencing a place so special to me with you was magical.  Even though we, ehem, tripped BALLS in Vancouver on many entheogens which remain nameless lol, I still had a great, eye opening time.  You are the one who taught me to let go of my fears and try new things.  You held me for six hours while I tripped on hallucinogens and told me to “BREATHE” lol.  You were the first guy I ever dated who shared my bone fetish- you even got me into articulation of skeletons, and you were never squeamish because you worked in pet stores and always handled death.  You are such an amazing wood worker and friend, and I’m so happy to be with you.

To the Downtown Readers…

We all worked together at Eco, some of us were witches, some of us Shamans, but all of us were united in our helpful and healing nature.  You ladies taught me so much about intuitive reading, herbalism and all manner of interesting things.  I never knew what “reddening bones” meant until I worked with you all, and I had never connected to animals in any way until you girls taught me how to find beauty in our sisters and brothers.  You gave me my first books on non-celtic shamanism, taught me about rending fat from bones, dying your own fabric, carving bones and collecting feathers.  We were all under so much pressure from you-know-who to make money, and you kept me strong and supported my decision to leave when I said I couldn’t take it anymore and I don’t believe in charging for readings.  I became a strong cunning woman because I had you all to look up to and teach me over those two years.  THANK YOU.

To Rusty of Na Criedmhigh…

You met me when I was 17.  You opened up my whole world and took me away from the constant insecurity and brought me into a world I’ve made my own.  I owe my formally dedicating to a celtic path to your guidance.  You, Nick, Rick and Robin accepted me for the venomous fluff-hater that I was and made me even stronger.  You taught me that being in the service of the Morrighan meant accepting the dark and cruel and bloody and relishing in their gifts.  I like to think of you as one of my most important soul-mates, because I learned how to better devote to the Great Queen from you.  Rusty, you taught me how to grow a thicker skin, how to accept the blood-rage.  When you let me lead the tuatha (though my stay was brief due to my youth), it was the first time it occurred to me that real adult, real pagans, real people out there thought I was capable of being a good leader.  You acknowledged my devotion and saw the strength in it and nurtured my talent as a devotee to the old ways.   We marauded across the land slaying fluff, taking names and giving shit to the a-holes out there who decided I was too black to be a celt.  You sir, are without a doubt the toughest guy I know and I’m proud to have been mentored by you.

And to all the bloggers who know me…

Thank you.  Danni, Nellie, you two have been so nice and so thoughtful and so open, it’s kept hope alive that there are people out there just like me.  I am so happy to meet other witches who like the same aesthetics and rituals and charms as me.  Sarah-Jayne- we connected instantly because we are both devoted to the Horned One and Nantosuelta, and I’ve enjoyed getting to know you away from the blog-world.  Thank you for the tips and the ideas, thank you for bonding to me- meeting a witch who is so much like me makes me happy every day.   Having the courage to actually write about what I’ve been doing my whole life has been both scary and rewarding.  Finding others who’s altars, rituals, charms, statues, thoughts were so attuned to mine was weird, and I’m glad I’m not alone in my strangeness.  There are so many of you out there with so many ideas, sharing yourselves freely and it reminds me to be validated in how normal I really am- because there are others just like me.

Thank you all.  Not just for being here, but for always being there and for being there in the future.  I’m trying to be more thankful for what I’ve got, I hope everyone else is ^_^