When we go through tough times, we seek ways to find comfort. As you all know I have had hard times lately with the loss of Jessie. But the last six months have had more than just that held up in store for me. I have had everything happen to me from my car dying to financial problems (I am the 99% for sure) to discovering friends I had for years were never really friends. To top it all off,
Author Archives: Lady Jasmine
What Now…
This is not my first pregnancy loss. Back in 2006 I had a miscarriage at 6 weeks. As soon as I found out, I lost the pregnancy. It took me a long time to heal. We still started trying right away after the loss. But this is different this time. I was pregnant for an entire trimester. I went through all the symptoms, being nauseated all day every day, and struggling to stay awake. I even got
Here and Gone
For the past few weeks I have been working on a very special post. It was to announce my pregnancy. I had kept a log of every week and how I was feeling and journaled my emotions and everything. I was so excited about it, but kept it a secret for all these weeks because I wanted to share it at a special time. I had told some of my friends but not all of them to see if the others would guess,
Fertility
Fertility might be one of the most scary or avoided forms of magic by many people. Say you were to have a fertility statue in your home and someone picked it up and asked, "What’s this for?". You know that if you say, "fertility" to them the chances of them dropping the statue on the floor directly from their hands is a very great one. Fear of having a bunch of babies or even one unplanned is
Blossoming Jasmine Journal- Entry 2
It is amazing to me how much can change by going to a festival. As you may know I went to Pagan Spirit Gathering 5 weeks ago, and every since I have been way more creative and focused on everything in my life. I still have not made headway in all of the things I want to be working on but I have gotten allot more done and been way more in touch with my faith. I just have a full plate. This
Choosing My Religion
Recently I read an article over on Patheos Pagan Portal in regards to raising your children pagan. The article was titled "Hand-Me-Down Paganism", and said that pagan parents should expose their children to their practice. I have always been of the mindset that my path was not my sons and he should find his own path. If he asked I would teach him. But this article got me thinking.
My Lack of Patriotism: A Self Reflection.
Something I have always struggled with on the 4th of July is that I have no real deep emotional ties to being an American. I feel bad that I don’t but if I were to rank it on labels that I could apply to myself, it would still be towards the bottom of my list. It would be above hypoglycemic and sufferer of IBS that is for sure. But for me, Mother, Pagan and Wife would be a close tie for the top spot. I didn’t realize how low it ranked for me until this morning when I was sitting at the parade this morning here in Independence, IA next to a woman who was Canadian and celebrating her first 4th of July. She was wearing a denim dress with an American flag bandana on her head, while I sat next to her wearing a hippy skirt and a coral top. I was one of the only people not wearing red and blue. The fact of the matter is though, I don’t wear, or own for that matter, many red and blue clothes. It is just not my favorite colors or ones that I feel a connection to. Yes I value freedom, it has been a mantra for me for a long time. But all the political stuff for me, it has always degenerated my faith in my country. This side arguing with that one, people not getting to live their lives with out politics and the law getting in the way. The fact that I have to pay an arm and a leg to see a doctor and maintain a healthy life style while everyone argues about it makes me cringe internally. I could go on and on here, but when I do, I feel even less of a connection. For me this day really is about eating corn, being with family, enjoying the weather and the fireworks. Because true freedom is in my heart and soul.
Pagan Spirit Gathering: Part 2, A Review
Pagan Spirit Gathering was not my first festival, but this was my first time seeing so many pagans in one spot. Before I traveled to this fest in particular, I had been to ones with about 300-500 attendees. This one had nearly 1000 people. It was an awesome experience to be surrounded by that many pagans. So I a writing this review based on my experiences at previous festivals and I hope to do my best to describe the feelings I felt while in attendance.
What I Liked
I liked the sense of community that all of us shared together. It felt nice to be able to be free and not have to hide anything about my primal pagan side. Most of the people were open too, I only felt that closed off energy from 1 or 2 people I came across. I also liked the set up of the day. Workshops were held after lunch time, leaving time for people to sleep in, get up and get moving and still not have to miss a workshop. I also liked that so many people lit torches at night around their tents.. it was almost impossible to see otherwise and I do not like tripping over tent stakes.
What I loved
I loved many things about this festival. I loved the quality of the workshops, which as I discussed with Selena Fox, I have had bad experiences with in the past. I actually went to a local meet up with workshops that had a girl just reading us her tarot book instead of actually teaching the workshop. Here at PSG, the people actually knew what they were talking about and made me feel like I could learn something. When you have been involved with paganism as long as I have, that is hard to find.
I also loved the Rituals. I have never been one for public rituals. A combination of being empathic and me not feeling comfortable with the way other people do rituals has always turned me off to them. The way they were done at PSG, they were very open to many paths. During the Croning ritual, Selena instructed us to connect to the universe or deity of our choice in the tradition that we connected to most. And that made me feel comfortable enough to actually enjoy the ritual at hand.
The shopping was incredible. The items that people had were mostly hand made. It was so nice to be able to browse and find things that were one of a kind pieces of art. And to be able to see them up close and personal and feel the energy first hand that was put into their creation. Wonderful. If you plan to go to PSG in the future I suggest taking money, and cash, since the ATM kept crashing from all the use of the WiFi at the site. Don’t be surprised if you are wanting to spend 100$ or more.
What I would have changed
All of my major beefs with the festival were all related to the actual site. I would have had more flush toilets, and cleaned them more often. And more showers. I would suggest some outdoor showers or more just because of the lines we had to wait on to get there. And be warned, your feet will not be clean till at least 2 showers are taken once you are home.
If you plan to go
Bring socks to sleep in, it got chilly at night and this was the best way to keep my nasty dirty feet from making a mess and to stay warm. Do not plan to go online. I still cant figure out why people would want to be online at a place like this, but the network was constantly crashing from overuse. Bring cash, make a budget and bring that amount of cash for the whole trip. Bring extra clothes, it got very muddy, and chilly at night. Bring flip flops for the shower, they are gross and hard on the feet. Prepare to take the quickest shower of your life. Just go for the entire week unless you literally can not take the time off work. Bring pre-made cards with your contact info on them to exchange with others whom you wish to stay in contact with.
The Bottom Line
I will be going again, next time for a full week. The only thing that could keep me from going would be that I couldn’t afford it or I was medically unable.
Pagan Spirit Gathering: Part 1, My Personal Experience.
I recently attended Pagan Spirit Gathering in Earlville, IL. hosted by circle sanctuary and Selena Fox. I am still “recovering” from this. My kitchen has a few camping items left out that are in the process of being washed..but my once mud soaked clothes are now hanging to dry, the bedding is cleaned and put away and I feel a strong connection to my faith and the earth that can not even be described in words.
I traveled from my small town in Independence, IA with the other 2 pagans in our town, we dubbed ourselves the Independence Iowa Pagan Alliance for shits and giggles and travel the 3ish hour drive to the festival. We used our GPS and from the road all you could see was a little drive way. Once we pulled in, we were in a different world. We were welcomed with open arms and being that this was our first time at the festival we were greeted with people calling us “virgins” and asked to ring a bell..I rang that bell with all my might and we were welcomed home.
I have been to several other festivals in the past, such as Phoenix Phyre, but this was the largest one I have ever attended. What I liked about this fest is that it was so big that we were literally tent to tent and were forced to get to know our neighbors. When we arrived, which we just went for the weekend instead of the full week, all of the shaded camping areas were filled and we had to open tent in the quieter area. I wasn’t happy about it when we got there, because I fully intended to stay up till 5 am each night enjoying night time festival activities. However, I was more than happy with being there when I didn’t stay up till 5 am partying like a maiden.
I was not able to attend any workshops the first day because we were still unloading and setting up camp at the time, but we were able to chat with our tent city neighbors and met some really nice people. We chatted and shopped around the merchants row area, which highly impressed me. There were over 20 vendors (probably even double that) and not many that had the same crap you see at every pagan shop that is made in china. Most of the vendors had homemade goods that were unique and very calling to me. I really wish I had about 500 bucks to spend there, because I would have spent it all between the crystal balls and hand made goddess outdoor hangings, or the hand carved statues. I came home with a CD by Emerald Rose (which I forgot to have signed.. boo), a handmade deer skin and quartz necklace for my son, a new goat skin head for my djembe and the biggest mortar and pestle I have ever seen.
That night I attended the festivities which several drinking parties were commencing. There were hoards of half naked women and men in kilts and loin cloths, and even people dressed like Pan. I do not remember many parts of that night because the jungle juice is still clouding my brain (I only had one after my few glasses of wine with din din). But I can say that it highly messed with me. I thought the bull frogs from the swimming pond were following me and started yelling curse words at them at 2am. I had walked about 5 times back and forth from my tent to the bathroom to the party and I probably stumbled drunkenly about a total of 5 miles that night. I danced around the drum circle a bit and sat down and enjoyed it allot. I got to meet a nice drum troop that fully reminded me that I am so not a maiden anymore!
The next day I woke up after about 3 or 4 hours of sleep and I got up early to try and beat the rush to the showers.. but I was wrong. I had to wait over an hour to shower, but the blessing was that Selena Fox was online right behind me and I got to chat with her and I must say I was impressed! Most pagan festivals I have attended, all the bigger named people tend to either go to a hotel instead of camp out, or have very private area. But she was waiting on the line with the rest of us as an equal. She was a very nice woman and very charismatic and funny. I don’t think I have ever felt someone have such naturally happy energy. I also attended a few rituals she hosted during my short stay and I was even impressed with those because the way she did it was very polite and welcoming of everyone’s beliefs. I definitely will be checking out gatherings at Circle Sanctuary (about 3 hours away from me) for the near future.
I went to the morning meeting and afterwards attended 2 different workshops. Both of these workshops had a strong effect on me. One was a guided meditation that just opened me up and brought me into the feeling of community at the festival. The other was about using the Charge of the Goddess in every day life that was just wonderful.
That night was the main ritual that was the biggest ritual I had ever seen, with nearly 1000 people. It was allot of standing and walking but beautiful in its own way. Afterwords we sat at our camp and chatted all night with a crone that came by with popcorn and marshmallows to share. We chatted all night and shared stories and ideas about life and paganism. It was so nice to be able to chat so openly.
The entire experience renewed my sense of pagan community and opened up things in my personal life that I needed to handle on my own. I felt healed and energized and came home with some new ideas. I will be definitely going next year and going for the entire week.
The Power of Silence
One of the most spiritual and intense rituals I ever participated in was a Samhain ritual that was performed in complete silence. We performed it with our full coven and did everything we would normally do, but with out any words. I am usually a pagan of many words and never thought such a simple ritual would be so powerful. While this can be done solitary, the power of a large group of people in silence can be a very magical experience, and can transcend many pagan paths.