I’ve noticed a lot of blogs have a Wordless Wednesday section, but I wanted to do a word-filled Wednesday. Today is a day of thanks. I think I got put in the mood at my job where today is worker appreciation day lol. I decided to take a minute to say thank you to the vast many people who are responsible for shaping who I am today.
To my sister Kendra…
You never minded that I was witch even though you were Lutheran and now Catholic. You were one of the few supporters I had in the family when I stepped away from medicine to pursue a path more meaningful to me at age 9. You never minded giving me chalk so that I could make death-mask powder, or buying me jars for all those failed oil attempts that made my bedroom smell rancid lol! You defended me against all the bullies when we were in school together- even though I have a hundred pounds on your skinny ass and tower over you like big-foot. You didn’t mind me playing with roadkill when we were kids, or even helping me buy my very first herb kit from Tenzing- even though you knew I was buying entheogens for unsaid reasons. When we worked together at Eco, it was one of the happiest times I ever had, because you looked out for me (knowing how shy I am), defended me and helped me make friends with local shamans and pagans who helped me learn more and more. Even though my incense always smelled like ass and the oils I made stained the carpets (which I blamed on you and Miles) you had my back and made sure that everyone knew how special I was. You are why I was strong enough to just be ME.
To my best friend Trisha….
I remember all the beltanes we spent together- everything wreathed in flowers and food, and the fires burned bright in the cauldron you bought me from Sacred Traditions when it was still open. You took me to my first Buddhist meditation classes and walked the Ivy Path with me, even today. When we became Dílis Glas, I was so happy to have you on the road with me. Thank you, for all the times we performed burial rites for the dead animals we found. Thanks for doing most of the handling by the way, I was WAY more squeamish about our dead animal cemetery fetish than you were lol. Thank you for the long walks through the graveyards where we admired the gravestones, stole soil and ran away from shadows. You and me are so different, and so similar it’s scary, and that’s why we never parted. Even though time and change has made it harder to see each other, I’ll never forget living with you and your family, celebrating the dark moon, the full moon and just being nerds together.
To my partner Andrew…
We met when we were 14 years old, and I fell in love with you. You asked me out nearly three years ago and told me you loved me. I’ll never forget driving to Canada with you while listening to Abby Road and Sergeant Peppers the whole way. Experiencing a place so special to me with you was magical. Even though we, ehem, tripped BALLS in Vancouver on many entheogens which remain nameless lol, I still had a great, eye opening time. You are the one who taught me to let go of my fears and try new things. You held me for six hours while I tripped on hallucinogens and told me to “BREATHE” lol. You were the first guy I ever dated who shared my bone fetish- you even got me into articulation of skeletons, and you were never squeamish because you worked in pet stores and always handled death. You are such an amazing wood worker and friend, and I’m so happy to be with you.
To the Downtown Readers…
We all worked together at Eco, some of us were witches, some of us Shamans, but all of us were united in our helpful and healing nature. You ladies taught me so much about intuitive reading, herbalism and all manner of interesting things. I never knew what “reddening bones” meant until I worked with you all, and I had never connected to animals in any way until you girls taught me how to find beauty in our sisters and brothers. You gave me my first books on non-celtic shamanism, taught me about rending fat from bones, dying your own fabric, carving bones and collecting feathers. We were all under so much pressure from you-know-who to make money, and you kept me strong and supported my decision to leave when I said I couldn’t take it anymore and I don’t believe in charging for readings. I became a strong cunning woman because I had you all to look up to and teach me over those two years. THANK YOU.
To Rusty of Na Criedmhigh…
You met me when I was 17. You opened up my whole world and took me away from the constant insecurity and brought me into a world I’ve made my own. I owe my formally dedicating to a celtic path to your guidance. You, Nick, Rick and Robin accepted me for the venomous fluff-hater that I was and made me even stronger. You taught me that being in the service of the Morrighan meant accepting the dark and cruel and bloody and relishing in their gifts. I like to think of you as one of my most important soul-mates, because I learned how to better devote to the Great Queen from you. Rusty, you taught me how to grow a thicker skin, how to accept the blood-rage. When you let me lead the tuatha (though my stay was brief due to my youth), it was the first time it occurred to me that real adult, real pagans, real people out there thought I was capable of being a good leader. You acknowledged my devotion and saw the strength in it and nurtured my talent as a devotee to the old ways. We marauded across the land slaying fluff, taking names and giving shit to the a-holes out there who decided I was too black to be a celt. You sir, are without a doubt the toughest guy I know and I’m proud to have been mentored by you.
And to all the bloggers who know me…
Thank you. Danni, Nellie, you two have been so nice and so thoughtful and so open, it’s kept hope alive that there are people out there just like me. I am so happy to meet other witches who like the same aesthetics and rituals and charms as me. Sarah-Jayne- we connected instantly because we are both devoted to the Horned One and Nantosuelta, and I’ve enjoyed getting to know you away from the blog-world. Thank you for the tips and the ideas, thank you for bonding to me- meeting a witch who is so much like me makes me happy every day. Having the courage to actually write about what I’ve been doing my whole life has been both scary and rewarding. Finding others who’s altars, rituals, charms, statues, thoughts were so attuned to mine was weird, and I’m glad I’m not alone in my strangeness. There are so many of you out there with so many ideas, sharing yourselves freely and it reminds me to be validated in how normal I really am- because there are others just like me.
Thank you all. Not just for being here, but for always being there and for being there in the future. I’m trying to be more thankful for what I’ve got, I hope everyone else is ^_^
